Today is Jim’s birthday – turning the big snowman – 8 years old. It’s hard to believe that 8 years have flown by so quickly, but here he is changing and growing faster than we ever imagined was possible. As his parents, we have of course tried to teach him a lot of things along the way, but the truth is that Jim has taught us a whole lot more than we have taught him in these last 8 years. As his mom, I am forever grateful for what I have learned over these years and the growth it has brought in all of us over the years.
Jim has been a scrappy fighter from the beginning. I was sick with preeclampsia beginning at about 31 weeks, and I spent about a week and half on hospital bedrest until the doctor finally made the call to deliver at 35 weeks and 2 days. So Jim arrived, but he had the typical breathing issues that white male babies often have at that point, and he was whisked to the NICU shortly after delivery. His 1 minute Apgar score was 6, but he quickly recovered to a 9 before they rushed him up to the NICU. I would not see him for 2 days. My husband always mentions how well I did handling the fact that I couldn’t go see my baby, but truthfully, I was pretty beaten down and scared at that point. I knew he was in good hands and doing better with every hour, and I knew I had to be patient while my body got a handle on things so I could go see him. I still remember finally getting into a wheelchair and going up to see him for the first time. He was so tiny – just 5 lbs 8 oz at birth – and he was slightly jaundiced. So when we came into the room, he was laid out on his back in just a diaper with his arms and legs stretched out with those dark glasses over his eyes with that sleeping infant grin on his face. He looked like he was sunbathing. I remember just touching his hand and arm and not wanting to disturb him. I wanted to hold him, but I didn’t want to mess anything up with all the tubes and IVs. I did get to hold him later, and I remember not wanting to let him go and certainly not wanting to leave him there in the NICU. As anyone who has had a NICU experience knows, it’s really easy to get into the NICU, but it’s hard to get out. Jim made quick work of the list of requirements for discharge, and early on we learned not to underestimate this kiddo.
Jim has taught me a lot about perseverance and resilience. I thought I knew about that before he came into our lives and our journey with autism started. I now know I didn’t know the half of it. This kid has overcome so much that left unattended could have had long-term negative implications for the rest of his life. He’s completed countless hours of therapy that involves hard work and concentration whether you are talking about speech, occupational, or ABA therapy. From the get-go, he has always had a good attitude and work ethic with little protest along the way. Whenever I get complaints about homework from his older brother, I sometimes remind him of how hard Jim works on many days attending school all day with therapy mixed in, additional therapy on a couple of days a week, and coping with sensory symptoms that impact him from the moment he opens his eyes in the morning to the minute he closes his eyes to go to sleep. It is this perseverance and resilience that I know will be an integral part of his progress against the effects of autism.
Jim has reminded me since he was very little that there is always room for humor no matter how difficult the circumstances may be. In fact, his humor has been a constant reminder to us that in spite of his autistic symptoms, he is very much there with a sharp wit, keen intellect and imaginative sense of humor. We love to laugh and be silly together as a family, and Jim is very much a part of that dynamic.
So happy birthday to this boy that has been such a blessing to us as our son. Happy birthday to a boy that is a loving brother to his siblings. We all have your back, and we can’t wait to see what you accomplish next. We love you more than you will ever know.
Happy birthday buddy. ❤️
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